My name is Kathy. Marjolein asked me to write to all of you in the hopes that I might be able to lend some encouragement in your struggles with weight loss. Not too long ago, I was in a place where I felt helpless.
I was embarrassed about my physical appearance. Everything I did was controlled by my weight. I felt awful about my body, so I would get depressed, and feel isolated, helpless and hopeless. All of this led to eating even more and moving even less. I was feeling the negative effects of my weight on a physical level every day, more and more. Getting out of bed in the morning was no longer an easy task.
Finally, a friend of mine gave me a gift. At the time, I wasn’t too thrilled about it. She gave me one of Marjolein’s Pilates videos. The first time I watched it, I literally sat on my couch with a bag of Oreos and a glass of milk! The whole time I was watching, all I could think of was that I would never look like her.
After a few more months, I popped the tape in again. This time I actually tried doing what she was doing. I couldn’t even bend to reach my toes. My stomach was too big for me to do that. I put the tape back in the closet again. I continued to gain more weight and felt as though I was spiraling out of control. I was no longer the confident, self-assured woman I had once been. I was becoming more and more sheltered in my life for fear that people would judge me based on my appearance. I stopped playing with my kids. I stopped wanting to have sex with my husband. I felt that no one could love me as a fat woman. I couldn’t love myself anymore…
Finally, one day, I decided I had had enough. I realized that I was holding on to my weight in order to protect myself from feeling emotional pain. If I kept myself fat, I could always use my weight as an excuse, and therefore I would never have to deal with the truth. Only you can know your truth and only you can change how you are feeling.
You need to support yourself. You need to encourage yourself. No one can do that for you!!! I am the mother of three beautiful young women. I have approached my weight loss with the same support and encouragement that I give to my girls. If my daughter came to me and said “Mom, I feel helpless. I feel like I’ll never get to where I want to be. I feel ugly and useless. I feel desperate.” I would never say “Oh, just deal with it. You’ve been like this forever. You might as well not even try. You’re not worth it.”
Absolutely not! Instead, I would tell her that she is worth fighting for. I’d tell her how valuable she is as a human being, as a woman. I’d give her words of encouragement to boost her self-esteem. Why is it that we don’t encourage ourselves with the same words? Help to lift yourself up by telling yourself how important you are, and how much you have to live for!! Fight for this. You deserve it. You are worth it!
I have now lost almost 50 lbs. and am on my way to a lifetime of good health and feeling proud of who I am. I have even started my own home-based business which has been a great help in building up my confidence. Getting out of bed in the morning is no longer a burden. (Getting into bed at night with my husband is no longer a burden, either.) I am proud to say that I can now reach my toes while doing exercises on my Pilates machine, and I no longer hang off the edges of the machine. I never thought while I was eating those Oreos that I would be where I am today.
Believe in yourself.